"Batman must die"

Friday, July 25, 2008

I was thinking how much Heath Ledger didn't get to enjoy the popularity of his new movie. He has had so many comments on how good his acting was in The Dark Knight, but he's no longer around to enjoy the fame as it were. Life is so fleeting. It withers and dies in an instant. Yet how much we take for granted and don't live to our full potential in God. Wow. Worth thinking about.

Anyway...

I watched The Dark Knight last night. Stephen convinced me that I needed to go. I wasn't really looking forward to it, but actually quite enjoyed it to be honest. I got a lot of pearls of wisdom as Dr. Lizzle would say, out of it. I suppose because it's the whole "good verses evil" story and the villians and the heroes always have valid points to get across. Like in life, we can learn things from Jesus and his good character and example, but we can also learn things from paying attention to how satan works and his schemes.

These were some of my favourite quotes from the movie:

- "Sometimes, truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."
- "The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming!"
- "Chance is the only reality in this cruel world. Unprejudiced. Unbiased. Fair. The only morality in an amoral world is chance."

In the movie, the Joker is not like other renditions; he is downright evil, corrupt, insane, psychotic, terrifying. More scary than funny, he shows the audience that he is Batman's perfect nemesis, challenging him all the way. There's this one scene I thought was so true where he confronts Harvey Dent (two face) in hospital and says something along the lines of... "If you stick to the plan, no matter how horrifying, people will be ok. Tell the public you're going to blow up a busfull of soldiers and they're fine; tell them you're going to shoot one little old man and they panic... Introduce a little anarchy... Upset the established order... Well then everyone loses their minds!" People can sometimes be more content with ordered and structured chaos (if ever there was an oxy-moron) than with the war for peace if you catch my drift.

Just like the temptation in the desert with satan trying to get Jesus to give in, to feel inferior, to accept his authority, the Joker trys to get batman to believe he is just a freak like him, an outcast who people hate and therefore forget trying to help the people because they will only turn on him. But Jesus endured the temptation. And eventually, Bruce Wayne did too. (Batman: "People are dying. What would you have me do?" Alfred: "Endure. You can be the outcast. You can make the choice that no one else will face - the right choice. Gotham needs you.")

It also reminded me of how we are in a war while on this earth. Not against flesh and blood, but principalities and powers. And just like the Joker who Alfred says of people like him, "They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." we cannot bargin with the devil. We must learn the rules of how to fight and not only that but learn how to put on the right armour. Armour that can withstand all attacks, be versatile, flexible and not leave us vulnerable.

Oh God make us battle-hard and battle-savvy for You!

The one with the guitars...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The mid-winter praise celebration is drawing near and as we were practising last night, I happened to notice that there were four guitars on stage (5 if you include the bass) and I thought to myself that must be some sort of record. And as much as I love guitars and was in my "happy place" listening to them all, I thought about Perplexual's latest post (check it out at http://perplexual.blogspot.com/2008/07/complexity-kills.html) and wondered what the church would do if for the next Praise Celebration we had an acoustic set with one guitar, one singer, congos and nothing else. I think everyone would be shocked at first, but would soon appreciate the change. And it would give the musos a break! As much as I love to listen to great bands play and love every Friday where it's loud and pumping, I think sometimes we can put too much emphasis on the sound rather then the soul.

Oh for the simplicity

To get back to the heart of worship. To realise that worship is not about the best band playing the phattest licks with amazing harmonies, but it's about touching the very heart of God. I think that some of my favourite worship times have come during Essence (7am Thursday mornings-be there!) where the worship isn't flash, but wow it is annointed! God turns up because of his faithful ones reaching out to Him, and for no other reason. Let's get ready for God to turn up during our "quiet" times, for Him to pour out His presence on us as we reach out to Him and for God to change us from the inside out!

The one with the bad hair day...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Ever woken up and broken a comb in your hair? Had a fight with your follicles and lost? Tried to tame the affro and failed miserably? I must say, I've been pretty blessed with the hair genes that I've been given and surprisingly a lot of girls envy my "almost never needs a straightener" hair. But occasionally I wake up and am almost scared to look in the mirror! Well I managed to capture this pic of one such occasion and thought I'd share it with the world just to say, you are not alone...

Just kidding, I will take one someday though, just for kicks

The one with the surprise...

Monday, July 21, 2008

Since I have this obsession with photocopiers, I found some more videos that just rock! Here we go...





And another one...




Ahhh, I just love it

The one with the guffaw...

Friday, July 18, 2008

Q: Why did the Babybel Cheese factory become more religiously important than any other shrine in the world?
A: Because it was reported that Baby Cheeses was spotted there.

*OH DEAR*

Attention all bloggers: What do greasy, acne ridden computer geeks get? A: Blog Spots. Aha ha, ha okso that wasn't very funny. Anyway, I was inspired (or uninspired - take your pick) by Dave Wiggins lame "drum" jokes the other night and found this blog on homemade jokes... I've posted a few of my favourites just for a laugh. Go ahead, I dare you!

Q: What was the problem with the perfect house?
A: It was floorless.

Q: How did the motorist feel about the penalty they were given for driving too fast?
A: Fine.

Q: What do nuclear physicists put in their flower beds?
A: Depleted geraniums

Q: What type of mobile phones do puppets use?
A: Pinnokias

Q: What is Tiger Wood's favourite snack?
A: Chip puttie and a cup of Tee.

Q: Why is Tiger Woods so good at editing on an Apple Mac?
A: Because he's a Final Putt Pro.

- I just loved this one. Yup I'm weird, I know and the next one's not bad either. You'll either laugh or cry

Q: Why does my computer's hard disk think its a sucessful musician?
A: Becuase its got lots of gigs.

Q: What do you call a serviette that sings Jazz?
A: Napkin Cole.

Woman: I went to the Channel Islands at the weekend. It was so cold I had to put on an extra layer of clothing.
Man: Jersey?
Woman: No, I think it was a tank top.

Q: Which designer label likes to climb steep slopes?
A: Calv Incline

Q: Why are squirrels so jealous of teachers?
A: Because they are not invited to the NUT conference.

Q: Why don't the Police like emails?
A: Because they like to stick to the fax.

Q: What type of potato chips do Muslim leaders eat?
A: Sultan Vinegar

Q: What type of potato chips do the mafia eat?
A: Mobster Munch

Q: What type of potato chips do depressed people eat?
A: Sour Cream & Cryves

Q: What type of potato chips do bookworms eat?
A: Read-y Salted

Q: What type of potato chips do non-vegetarians eat?
A: Chicken

Q: What did the Tomato say to the chip as he passed him in a running race?
A: Ketch-up

Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
A: Irrelephant.

I met a little man with a beard and pointed hat the other day. He was holding a little fishing rod.
"Hello little man," I said, "What sort of creature are you?"
"Can't talk, tick tock tick tock," he said, "I've got to catch a train on the Paris underground, tick tock tick tock tick tock."
He was a metro-gnome.

Q: Which feline is inconsequential?
A: A Meerkat.

Q: Why did so many people want to meet the laziest man in the world?
A: Because he was into resting.

"You know Yazoo?" she asked me.
"What?!" I replied. "I have a zoo?"

Q: What do spacemen play when bored.?
A: Astro-naughts and Crosses.

Yup another pointless post. Glad you said it. Until next time, keep laughing...

The one with the bang...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

In one of my previous posts, things that make you go arrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhh, photocopiers were mentioned just a few times on that list. I know vengeance is the Lords but there is just something so satisfying about watching something that so often causes extreme frustration and headaches get smashed into pieces...

The one with the stress...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Sometimes, after a really bad day at work, violence can cure a lot of things. Probably not the best advice coming from a "wise" youth leader who people are supposed to look up to (haha), but hay, nobody's perfect! So, after 2 weeks of not being able to sleep properly, 3 days of the photocopier not feeding paper properly and jamming constantly (due to humid Northland weather probably), the guillotine falling apart on me, too much stress and a really bad headache, I decided I needed to write a post on the cure for stress. It really works. Honest (roll eyes now). You should try it. It's really fun. Over and out.

The one with the superglue...

Monday, July 14, 2008

I cut my finger in the guillotine last Wednesday. Who cares that it wasn't on my right hand so I could still write. The fact that it was the forefinger on my left hand meant that I couldn't play guitar properly. This caused me great pain and I almost cried. Almost. Except being a girl, I don't cry. Because real girls don't cry. Fullstop. End of story. So I was at a loose end as to what to do seeing I was to play at Flame that Friday and then again on Sunday at church. This wise man had a great idea. He said, have you tried superglue? So I did. I pasted a bit of superglue over the cut, waited for it to dry (in the meantime wishing I was one of those girls who carried around her hairdrier with her), and watched my finger miraculously harden. And why did I do it you may ask? Because I'll try anything once. Because I'm nuts. No arguments there. And it actually worked! I was so excited about it afterwards that I now carry aroung a tube of superglue in my "downsized" bag (that doesn't have room for pliers anymore, sigh) for whenever the moment calls. Never mind that my finger took twice as long to heal, probably as a result of all the toxins in the glue seeping into my finger, running through my bloodstream like a raging river carrying poisonous waste and contaminating everything it touches. Never mind all that. I got to play guitar and that's all that matters. So there you have it. Superglue works. More pointless posts coming your way...

Time is of the essence

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I was thinking the other day about the saying, Time is money or money is time and I started wondering whether or not I or the business would be any richer if I didn't do any of these "time-wasters". I conducted a "statistical poll" (don't ask me if that makes logical sense or not because I'm sure nobody, including me, can understand my logic) based on my normal working week and multiplied by a workspan of 50 years (or 104000 hours)...

- Time spent driving to work (why drive when you could fly?)
2600 hours = app $33,070
- Time spent waiting at traffic lights (they should invent underground pedestrian tunnels)
2167 hours = app $27,560
- Time spent reheating coffee cup after being interupted (one day I plan to design a "never go cold" coffee mug)
1300 hours = app $16,530
- Time spent answering phonecalls (i hate talking on the phone; give me email anyday)
10833 hours = app $137,790
- Time spent redoing a job cause I stuffed it up (oh for Heaven when I can be perfect - except then I won't have to work for a living so it defeats the purpose)
26000 hours = app $330,720
- Time spent eating (such a boring past-time)
10800 hours = app $137,370
- Time spent on the toilet (yup nuf said)
2100 hours = app $26,710
- Time spent checking Internet Banking (I've decided I'll marry a millionaire and never have to worry about money again - then again, who wants to get married lol)
1080 hours = app $13,730
- Time spent on Renewal Youth Website (nope can't give this one up)
4330 hours = app $55,080

So if I cut out all the time-wasters from my day then I would have about 61,210 spare hours over the course of 50 years to spend on work and therefore technically save the company app. $778,560 over 50 years. That works out at $299.45 per week. WOW! I could pay off my mortgage quicker! More pointless posts coming your way soon...

For such a time as this...

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Recently I was at my Aunty Jeni's 60th birthday. We had heaps of laughs dressing up as random countries - some of us had never heard of them! We also hired a guy to come in and teach us some barn-dancing/line-dancing (embarrasing times), watched a crazy drama from my cousins (we are so not related) & listened to the best reindition of Cat Steven's song "Father & Son" that I have ever heard. Stephen surprised everyone (including me) by actually singing in front of a live audience! This has nothing to do really with what this post is about except my character was from Israel. I was watching 'One night with the King' beforehand and it reminded me of the courage it takes to live for God. Flag thinking Christians are wimps who use Christianity as a crutch! It takes guts, passion, courage, stamina, endurance, persistance and a whole lot more to really live for God. And maybe God will call us to be Esthers of our generation. To go against the grain of safety and comfort and to stand up for what we believe in. To do whatever it takes to save this country from hell. Even if that means facing death. God grant us the courage to be that generation!

My God is into irony...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

I discovered the other day that not only does God have a sense of humour, but he's also into irony. I work in an industry where I get to meet all sorts of people from a variety of backgrounds, religions, upbringings, etc. There's a couple of regular customers who I must confess, everytime I see them walk in the door, I want to run the other way! This is a little story of how we need to be so careful as Christians in our attitudes towards other people.

So, this one particular customer of mine walks in the door. My first reaction is, mutter, mutter, under my breath. Every time they come in, it's for a fiddly job that takes about 15-20minutes and generally never pays more than a couple of dollars at a time. So, I do the job; with a frown on my face the whole time; thinking to myself, I wish I was somewhere else; and talking as abrubtly as possible, as if to say, I hope you get the message - I don't like you! After I finish and they have paid their meazly $3 for a 15minute job, they say this to me:

"Can I just ask you something? Are you a Christian?"

"Yes", I reply, thinking to myself, oh man I'm in trouble now!

Then the reply: "Yeah, well I sure can tell. This place has such a nice atmosphere about it and I always enjoy coming here!"

Well, I tell you, did I get the shock of my life! I was fully expecting a blasting about Christians and what's wrong with them, but was fully blown away by the reply. I felt so convicted for the next two days, that every time a customer who I didn't like dealing with came in, I purposely tried to be nice to them. Isn't it so ironic how we can completely think that we have stuffed a situation up and then God comes around and turns it into good. But He does it in such a way that we don't feel condemned, just convicted to try harder at being more like Him.

We are called to LOVE one another. That doesn't just apply to our best mates who we get along well with. That applies to our family members, the people who irritate us, the customers who drive us up the wall, the workmates who don't see things "my" way, and even, dare I say it, the people who we secretely would love to see put on a ship to the other side of the world so we never have to associate with them again!

So that's my bit of honesty for the week. Remember, we're Jesus' hands and his feet on this earth during our short lifetime so make the most of it! Love you all :)

Serious - Part 2

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I just love reading about random facts so thought I'd keep up with the posting...

- Astronaut Buzz Aldrin's mother's maiden name was "Moon." Buzz was the second man to step onto the Moon in 1969.

- A famous bullfighter, Lagarijo, killed 4,867 bulls in the 19th century.

- Adolf Hitler wanted to be an architect, but he failed the entrance exam at the architectural school in Vienna.

- After the death of the genius, Albert Einstein, his brain was removed by a pathologist and put in a jar for future study. He was also offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

- Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.

- At just four years old Mozart was able to learn a piece of music in half an hour.

- During his lifetime, artist Vincent Van Gogh only sold one of his paintings (The Red Vineyard).

- French astronomer Adrien Auzout had once considered building a telescope that was 1,000 feet long in the 1600s. He thought the magnification would be so great, he would see animals on the moon.

- In 1876, Maria Spelterina was the first woman to ever cross Niagara Falls on a high wire.

- In October 1973, Swedish sweet maker Roland Ohisson of Falkenberg was buried in a coffin made of nothing but chocolate.

- The natural diet of Lady Beetles consists of soft bodied insects such as aphids, spider mites, and young caterpillars. Adults can consume up to 100 aphids a day.

- The Giant cricket of Africa enjoys eating human hair.

- A nest in which insects or spiders deposit their eggs is called a "nidus".

- Honeybees have hair on their eyes.

- The only insect that can turn its head 360 degrees is the praying mantis.

- There is an average of 50,000 spiders per acre in green areas.

- Crickets don't chirp by rubbing their legs together, they make the noise by rubbing their wings together.

- The social life in ants and termites has been accompanied by an extraordinary royal perk: a 100-fold increase among queen ants in average maximum lifespan, with some queens surviving for almost 30 years. This longevity can be attributed in part to the sheltered and pampered life of the royal egg layer.

- You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day that in any other weather.

- Until very recently, no centipede was found that did not have an ODD number of leg pairs. Usually the number varies from 15 to 191 pairs, all odd. No one knows why. However, Chris Kettle, a doctoral student in ecology, recently found a centipede with 48 pairs of legs, an even number. The remarkable discovery was presented to the International Congress of Myriapodology in Poland and featured in the science journal Trends in Genetics. Mr. Kettle suspects a genetic mutation is responsible for the even number of leg pairs.

- 62 degrees Fahrenheit is the minimum temperature required for a grasshopper to be able to hop.

- Mosquitoes prefer children to adults, and blondes to brunettes.

- Spiders have transparent blood.

- There are more insects in one square mile of rural land than there are humans on the entire earth.

- Some crickets burrow megaphone-like tunnels that help transport the sound of their chirps as far as 2,000 feet away.

- A mature, well-established termite colony with as many as 60,000 members will eat only about one-fifth of an ounce of wood a day.

- The silkworm's silk comes out of its mouth as a thread of gooey liquid, so that nice silk blouse you spent a fortune on is really just worm spit.


Lunch anyone???

Time to be serious...

I thought it was about time that I got serious. So I'm putting on my serious face. Here's a list of useless facts abouts music that you probably didn't want to know:

- Most toilets flush in E flat.

- The rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd took their name from a high school teacher named Leonard Skinner who had suspended several students for having long hair.

- The song "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling" was written by George Graff, who was German, and was never in Ireland in his life.

- The horse's name in the song Jingle Bells is Bobtail.

- No one knows where Mozart is buried.

- Tommy James was in a New York hotel looking at the Mutual of New York building’s neon sign flashing repeatedly: M-O-N-Y. He suddenly got the inspiration to write his #1 hit, 'Mony Mony'

- Tickets for Frank Sinatra's first solo performance at the Paramount Theatre in New York City in 1942, sold for 35 cents each.

- Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song "Happy Birthday".

- The Beatles played the Las Vegas Convention Center in 1964. Some 8,500 fans paid just $4 each for tickets.

- Bill Haley and the Comets, one of rock and roll's pioneer groups actually began their career's as Bill Haley's Saddle Pals - a country music act.

- In 1939 Irving Berlin composed a Christmas song but thought so little of it that he never showed it to anybody. He just tossed it into a trunk and didn't see fit to retrieve it until he needed it for a Bing Crosby-Fred Astaire movie, HOLIDAY INN 10 years later.Bing Crosby was a staunch Catholic and at first refused to sing the song because he felt it tended to commercialize Christmas. He finally agreed, took eighteen minutes to make the recording, and then the "throw-away" song become an all-time hit.Crosby's version has sold over 40 million copies. All together, this song has appeared in 750 versions, selling 6 million copies of sheet music and 90,000,000 recordings ,just in the United States and Canada.You might not recognize the song from the movie HOLIDAY INN...or from the composer's name of Irving Berlin. But you're bound to know it because it's on everyone's list of Christmas favorites: WHITE CHRISTMAS.